I entered my birthday with tears in my eyes and heavy sobs of pain and surrender.  Yes, I am celebrating my day with a broken heart caused by the many circumstances that I don’t understand.  Seems like I’ve been in this place before, only it’s different.  I know Who made it happened and we both know it’s for the good. And as I feel each pierce through my soul, my head leans on His chest. It is a necessary thing.

I can say that pain is a very good teacher because you will remember every lesson it teaches you, especially the ones that go against what’s natural. Take for example the lesson of “loving despite of” say, the danger of having your list shattered or the risk of getting hurt.  Another one would be to not point fingers to causes, human or not, but just trusting that the God you consider your Lord is in control of everything and is after your good. And there are those times, too, that holding on is much more painful than letting go but you just need to hang on some more.

I would like to cry until I have released every tear for today so I can celebrate my day with people later wearing a genuine smile.  Come to think of it, I am fine.  I am at the best place anyway, leaning on the One who loves me most.

 

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