“Hindi naman siguro kalabisan
Itong munti kong kahilingan
Na maranasang magmahal
At mahalin din ng lubusan.”


What an early Valentine post! Well, probably this will be the only writing I’ll make for this topic this month (since I plan to sleep February 14 off). I’ll keep the rest to myself after I say my peace in this early but short blah.

Strong emotions often compel me to write a poem or a song. I guess it’s my way of keeping my sanity. The lines above were written just today during my long wait for the bus to work while trying to make sense of things. I just couldn’t understand why some people are willing to settle for the temporal, non-committal thing when it is way better to earn it the right, albeit harder, way and enjoy the real thing.

For the past few days, never have I experienced so many opportunities to start a relationship and the many styles of people who are offering one. Some are too shallow and vague, others indirectly indecent (and insulting for me)—many forms! Still, even at my age when I’m supposed to be pressured to move forward, I cling ever so strongly to the values taught me early on, almost like second nature (because I cannot bear to make compromises even if sometimes it feels sensible to). I am actually surprised and thankful to God. This is never possible on my own. And I’d be needing more of His grace to say no in the future for sure.

I feel like I’m in the middle of a battlefield and the other side is making too much noise while the other one does not make a single sound at all. It’s sad when the team you are wishing for to win seems to not care if he wins or not. But all I can truly say is, it is sooooooo easy to have a relationship. All I have to do is to say yes to any of the lesser choices. But somehow my stubborn heart still wants to believe that I deserve to be loved right and to be given the chance to love right.

What do you think? Do I stand a chance?